I had one of those moments today. It was beautiful!!!!
So, if you have been on my facebook page at all...You have heard about Red Dragons. I am hooked and I have no shame in telling anyone. I always said I never had time and I couldn't work out...you know the excuses. Well....that has stopped and now you can't stop me! I am working out all the time and getting stronger....little did I know the impact it would have on me spiritually and mentally as well..
After running the 1 mile with my boys at Fired Up and Fit, we were all playing under the water. Lori had asked me to take Gunner with me to get him wet too. He lit up with giggles and so did my heart. I let him down and he was running everywhere. I watched him run past me....the light was hitting just right and there it was...a rainbow that was practically chasing him. I stopped and all I could do was smile. As I type these words, the tears run down my face.
When Brooklyn died...I started on this very dark, empty, lost place. A place I was in for a very long time. A place that no one knew I was in and a place I pretended not to be. Mostly because I am Julie...I don't get down...I am positive Polly...I am a friend to everyone...I GOT THIS....and the ugly truth of some people just think you need to get over death after a certain time...well don't get me started on that. I will save that for another post. When I saw the rainbow today, I knew....without any doubt that the darkness was completely gone. I am at peace now...I know that I am strong because GOD is STRONG for ME!
As I look back over the journey God has taken me down, I know that He never left me...I know that HE gave me WHAT I needed...and when I needed it. He knew that the support and love I would get from this group of wonderful people would give me the strength I needed to proceed to heal. Now...part of my life will be a surprise to my Red Dragons...because I didn't tell (all of) them. But, what they also didn't know is that by building muscle and doing things that I couldn't do or thought I couldn't do before....it strengthen my mental aspect...which made me spiritually stronger, too.
I remember the "hissy fits" Ronnie would let us have when I first started. (you get to beat the crap out of a dummy) No one saw...but I would cry with every punch...because of all that was within my heart.... it has since been washed clean. Amen
I am not going to ramble on ...I just want you to know...whoever reads this...if you are in a DARK place...if you feel lost....lift your head up...HE is there...leading YOU to where YOU need to go. I am so glad HE lead me to the Red Dragons. I am who HE wants me to be......STRONGER!
Thanks to ALL the Red Dragons and for Ronnie following his heart to do what he does and to Karen for Yoking with HIM. :) "if grace was an ocean...we would be drowning"
