Working on being Along for the ride...

If you know me...you know that I tend to worry too much. Now, it has been said that I shouldn't worry...by many people...and by my Lord, He spoke the words in His bible. SO, I KNOW I shouldn't do it. Truth be told, I don't know how to stop.

I would say there are two different sides to my worry. One is the side of those stupid...time wasting....crazy side. You know the ones...

do they like me?

did I get that job I so desperatly wanted?

will I die on the way to vacation?

Have I not done enough at home?

at church?

for my family?

am I sick? What will the dr say?

should we have another baby?

Is our house EVER going to sell?

Am I raising the boys right?

Should they of not had that pepsi?
Will I ever lose this weight?

I need more money!

My house is a mess..

Does Eric love me like he use too?

Am I a good wife?

I dread the day of losing my loved ones...

Did I forget to do something at work?

Will my boss get mad at me?

Will I EVER get my dream job?

What is my dream job?

I don't want to die before I am old...

Are you exhausted yet? uhhh...it is exhausting. Most of these thoughts I keep to myself...but some just roll off my tongue to my dear friends and they sound just as crazy as they are...I know...but if you know me...I am an open book and it is hard not to say what I am thinking.

Now there is also this other side of my worry and it is the side that I TRULY believe God gave me as a gift. I have this "thing" this weird sense of connection with people who are going through difficult times. Some people I know...some I don't...but all of them, it is almost like I pick up some of their load. I want to carry it for them. It is like God gives me the strength to try and pick up their pieces and help them if I can, or just pray. Either way....I have felt people's pain. Some may think this is crazy, but it is how God made me....Kind of like Him in this way...I think where I mess up with this gift is when I do try and CARRY their load. It is not MY load to carry my burden to fix. It is my responsibility and I think all of our responsibility to reach out to those in need. I don't think it is our job to fix the situation, I just think it may be our job to pull them through....walk beside them....but most of all...remind them of the love of Christ and that He woudl never forsake them and that HE is the one to calm all seas...bring peace to your life...carry your load.

So...the mind is a dangerous place....it can be the devil's playground if you allow him in...and I have....too often. and sorry...but it really PISSES me off when I do that. My God is so much bigger than anything that I worry about and when I allow the devil to take my mind to a place it shouldn't be....uhh...it makes me mad! Mostly because...I know better...I am stronger than that, but NO...I have to waste so much precious time playing things out in my head that don't matter...won't ever happen...changes nothing...and all the above again....just crazy!! So I gather myself up...dust myself off and start over....

I guess, what I need to remind myself of is that...God knows all. He knows what is going to happen to me and whose plan is better than His? Certainly not mine...so I should just SHUT UP and RIDE! Ok, Lord....I am working on being ALONG FOR THE RIDE!!!